Monday, March 29, 2004

A Night With the Methadones 

NOTE: I have added the ability to comment at the bottom of all my new posts for those who have the desire

This past Saturday night was a great night for the Tunnel Rats. Back in the day when we first started, Mara Beaverpants was lucky enough to play host to Dan Vapid while he was up in New Hampshire doing some work for the Queers. Needless to say, Mara, B-Face, and myself had a great time partying with Vapid back then. Many drunken nights of late night drinking were had by all.

The fact of the matter is, with the exception of B-face, none of us have had a chance to see Vapid since 1995, when the Tunnel Rats played Kansas City, and Vapid rolled into town the next night with the Queers.

I can't say enough good things about Vapid's new band the Methadones. Granted they've been around for awhile, but I had not seen them live yet. They played one fucking INCREDIBLE set at the Abbey Lounge in Cambridge, MA this past Saturday. Now perhaps there are many Tunnel Rats fans out there that are skeptical. I will agree that the Methadones are very different from the Tunnel Rats. However, they are hardly a "pop-punk" band. I'm sure that's a pigeon-hole Vapid gets shoved into far too often. The Methadones are ROCK-N-ROLL. Not poppy at all in my opinion. I can't recommend them enough.

Of course, my life being what it is, I can't just go out in the big city and enjoy seeing an old friend.
Let me begin my tale now.
We arrive at the club very early, in order to hang out with Vapid and shoot the shit. Here's a picture of 3 old friends reuniting: Mara, B-Face and Vapid

The night just got better from there. The drinking got heavier and heavier. As can be seen by this photo of Vapid and Mara (Note Vapid not just double fisting, but TRIPLE fisting!)

Shortly after this, we were all shocked when former Tunnel Rats drummer and current Jabbers front man Wimpy showed up! This was a pleasant surprise, and of course instigated more drinking. As shown below in this pic.

However, the surprises were not over yet! Soon after Wimpy arrived, we were shocked at the arrival of John Felice, legendary founder of the Real Kids! Shown below is one classic picture! Wimpy, Vapid, Felice, and then two douchebags named Duke and Mara.

But of course, such a fun night can not occur in Duke's life without a mishap of some sort. It all started with Duke spending some good time with his friend Tamara. I have taken the liberty to Photoshop the pic below to highlight the start of the troubles. Look at the highlighted section.

Of course I was unaware of this vile attack on my character at the time. However, look at the VERY NEXT picture taken by the camera. Once again I have taken the liberty to use Photoshop to highlight the details.

In this picture, my aggressor makes the horrible mistake of ASSUMING I won't notice he's flipping me the bird. However, as you can see by my finger extending outward, and the gradual appearance of my Incredible Hulk like rage spewing forth, that there's going to be a problem. Notice how my long-time friend B-Face can already see it happening, as if by second nature. He's clearly aware that he may need to intervene.

Now who is this man who is so flippant with flipping the bird to Duke? He is the Kraut. He used to be in the Cretins, a very fine band that we played quite a few shows with. Why he feels the need to try and sneakily flip Duke the bird, I have no idea. In fact, I went through all of my photo archives, and the only picture I could find of the Kraut is the following:

Now of course I want to take my revenge on the Kraut, once I realize what he's up to, by the only means I have at hand: A broken bottle and/or my fist. However, B-face and our good friend Daly attempt to talk me out of it.

However, Tony of the Tunnel Rats and Rick from the Guts, have their reaction to such a peacenik recourse.

In the end, I stew on my anger while everyone goes into the main room to watch the opening acts. This works out in my favor, as you can tell by all of the unattended beers people left within my easy grasp. Needless to say EVERYONE came back to an empty glass/bottle.

However, I did make it into the main room to see the Methadones. Who, like I already said, completely rocked the shit out of the Abbey Lounge.

And, as luck would have it, my patience paid off. Here is a picture of Malibu Lou, the man who has set up our gig at the Abbey lounge on May 10th, giving me a big thumbs up in recognition of my ability to control my rage. So yes, the show on 5/10 is still on!

Monday, March 22, 2004


And I have proof! See the picture below.

Yes, this picture was taken in Riga, Latvia in 2003. There I was, just standing in this doorway, casually scoping out the hot Latvian chicks. Of course by doing that, I was also forced to watch the various gangs of Latvian youth-thugs handing out "free" tickets to the various Latvian strip joints to unsuspecting Japanese tourist herds (in all their uber-stereotypical camera-toting tourist glory) and more-than-eager-to-screw-a-hot-Russian-young-babe-hooker German throngs. Anway, Mara and I are witnessing all this in a drunken haze and having a blast when this fucking robot, that we think is a prop suddenly turns it's head and starts speaking to us in Latvian! It even raises it's arm in a threatening manner! We both back off, and the robot settles down, and goes back to it's statue-like straight ahead gaze.

In my eyes this robot is most likely left over from some sinister Soviet plot for world domination before the collapse of the said Union, and Latvia getting its freedom. With all that aside, I determine a test of the true capabilties and motives of this sinister robot MUST be performed. I would not be an honorable US citizen if I just merely walked away from this potential threat to freedom. The results of the experiment were as I had foreseen. This was one agrophobic robot. Left alone, with no humans within a 5 foot radius, it is perfectly happy to sit stoicly, much like the "Iron Man" of Black Sabbath fame. However, break the "safe zone" of five feet, and the robot attacks. Granted, I didn't have the courage to see if the attack would escalate from verbal to physical abuse. But the picture shown above is of the experiment. Look at my shock and fear as the robot turns its head and starts in on poor Duke.

Although I enjoyed Latvia, I had much more fun in London. There I hung out with the Roman Emperor Trajan for a couple of hours.

I smoked cigarettes, drank a couple of beers out of a paper bag and had a generally swell time. Not once did he he ever raise his voice or act in a threatening manner. In fact, he never said a word. Trajan is definitely a good listener.

I'm going to Portugal in May. I wonder if they have robots?

I Love Redd Kross

Perhaps you saw our homepage a couple of weeks ago where I mentioned I Love Redd Kross. If you didn't, now you know that I LOVE Redd Kross.
If you don't like them, then I don't like you. I even took a picture of all my Redd Kross records to share with you.

I know there are other Redd Kross records out there. I even have a really old 7-inch. However I was too lazy to dig through all of my 7-inches to add to the picture. I even have a bootleg audio tape of a show of Redd Kross. Redd Kross is so good that even the bootleg live tape is great.

Do not ask to borrow my Redd Kross records. Do not ask me to tape my Red Kross records for you. I am a generous man, but not when it comes to my Redd Kross records. Get your own damn Redd Kross records! I will also not sell my Redd Kross records, for any price. I don't believe you have the money you would offer. I know someone out there wants to steal my Redd Kross records. That's why I have numerous guns hidden around my home. There's pretty much no room in the house where you could try and attack me in order to steal my Redd Kross records. I would, at least, have a pretty good chance of killing you first. I am always prepared to defend my Redd Kross records.

I also found this record in the middle of my Redd Kross records.

I think it came from Mara's grandmother who died a couple of years ago. How it managed to cross the room and insert itself into my Redd Kross records I don't know. I was mad at first, but when I looked at the cover I thought it must have been fate. I think this must be the Latvian version of Redd Kross. I have no idea what AK! in Latvian means, but I bet it's something cool like "fuck".

Saturday, March 20, 2004

Weird Dream

So I just woke up from this dream.
I'm living in the Pacific Northwest with Widomwaker in this small town. Wid's old man is the sheriff. Me and Wid work in a casino in this tiny town. The casino is made up of two tiny rooms. And there's never anybody in there.
I win this contest that says I get 100 bucks a week for TEN YEARS to use in the casino. I'm excited, because I figure fuck that shit, it's just an extra 100 bucks I can do whatever I want with. Then I find out the casino gives it to me in special chips that can only be used in poker or roulette. AND you can't cash these chips these in for cash. Basically it'a deal where I have to gamble all these chips away every week until they are gone, or I've made some $ with real chips. But I still can't cash the ones I started with. (Which is probably something a real casino would do anyway)
In any event this pisses both me and Wid off, so we start a big scene overturning tables western movie style, and breaking windows etc. This brings the sheriff in (can't remember what he looked like) and his deputy, who is Alex Rodrigues (A-Rod). This quickly gets ugly because the Sheriff is Wid's father, and A-rod is his brother.
My memory gets hazy now, but I know we decide to bail outta town after a "serious" discussion with the sheriff and A-rod in their squad car. The next thing I know we're in this boat with Mara and my old man in the south pacific and come acrooss this massive ruin full of Roman columns and shit rising up out of the water. Wid casually observes that this is an ancient fish catching spot. I find that strange becuase I would like to think I had heard about this place before. Then I woke up.
What does it all mean?!?!

Thursday, March 18, 2004

Dr. DesRosiers

I was going through a bunch of old stuff today. Mainly looking for old Tunnel Rats Pics and stuff to put on the website. In this big box of crap, I found a single page of a final exam I took back at the University of New Hampshire in 1993. It was taken right about when the Tunnel Rats were first starting.

In any event, the professor was Dr. DesRosiers. He was the greatest teacher I ever had. I took 4 classes with him during my time at UNH, and he was the most demanding teacher I had (or have) experienced. He fucking made you work ass off. He had such a genuine love for what he taught (Classics) that it was infectious to anyone who wanted to learn. All of his classes met only once a week, at night, for 4 hours. In the first class of every semester he would put you through a 4 hour torture session, trying to weed out the weak. It always worked. By the time of the 2nd class, the total amount of students usually had gone from about 30 to around 10. By week 2, we were usually down to around 6 or 7. I was so bored by college, except when I was ina class with Dr. DesRosiers. I wish I could describe him physically, because he was unique, but even with my fair talents with the written word, I can't do him justice. However I will tell you that he always carried a long pointer (about 3 feet long) and would always challenge students by Pearl Harboring them with a question during his lecture whilst jabbing them (even women) in the chest with his pointer. He also called everyone by "Mr" or "Ms". When I ran into him at the grocery store 5 years after I graduated, I was still "Mr." Anyway, here's the one page from the exam. It was a total of 8 pages for a final exam that took everyone 4-5 hours to complete.

Y'all know what blue books are? They're the little notebook-like things that you're supposed to use for writing answers to Essay questions for exams. Who knows if they still use them today. Anyway, I filled up FIVE blue books on this exam. However my final grade was a 107. How I still remember that I have no idea. But I know the highest possible grade was 110 (with bonus questions).
The good Dr. has retired. Which is a shame for all the students at my alma mater. But I wanted to take the time to note he's a great man and an even better teacher. I would definitely not be who I am today without the 4 years of study I had with him. And that's a fact, JACK.

EDIT. I actually did find a picture of the good Dr. But it really doesn'y do him justice.

Oh, and anyone who wants to answer these questions, please feel free to e-mail me your essay. The best submission will be posted on this here blog.

Monday, March 15, 2004

I must say I had one of the weirder experiences I've had in my life the day of our show in Portland, Maine (3/6/04).
Before we left for the show we were all hanging out and drinking beers and shooting the shit. Someone (Tony I think) noticed the video of the Confederacy of Scum Supershow from 1997. So I threw it in there to watch while we had an hour to kill.
Eventually Conqueror Worm's set came on. I was commenting how fucking cool Simon Stokes is, when it suddenly dawned on me. I pulled out the photo I had taken of Simon and myself at the COS Supershow in 1998 in Charlotte, NC. I'm all bloody and fucked up and there is Simon, with his arm wrapped tightly around my shoulder grinning like a banshee. I said at that moment "I think this is my favorite Tunnel Rats picture EVER".
Flash ahead about 2 hours later. We show up a the church in Portland where we will be playing. I go up to the door and chat with Jordan from Big Meat Hammer and the Transplants for a bit. I haven't seen him since 1997 or so. Anyway, he has to run off, and this older walks up to me and extends his hand. He says "Man I haven't seen you guys since 1998 at the Tremont in Charlotte. I can't wait to see you guys again."
I'm shocked to be in tiny Portland, Maine to have a guy who was actually at that show in NC. I ask him "You were really there?" and he replies "You don't remember me? I was the guy you handed your camera to and you asked me to take a picture with you and Simon Stokes, you were all bloody and shit."
Isn't that fucking WEIRD?
Anyway here is a copy of the picture in question.