Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Big Nasty's Pervert Row, home of Ass Grab Alley 



Special days are cause for special celebrations. A few weeks back, we were all down at Big Nasty's. I can't remember what the special day was, but I DID decide it was a good night for a special celebration. So, going behind the bar and grabbing the colored chalk, I erased half of the drink specials and proclaimed that the narrow alley on the way to the bathrooms was indeed "Ass Grab Alley". Moments after I finished writing, Captain Leech and I began enforcing the new rules

Soon enough, Captain Leech and I had figured an ingenious way to ensure that we both got a grab at every female ass that tried to pass. I would act like I was enthralled with the game on TV when they first passed. Then he would make his move. This would cause them to instinctively turned around, leaving their butt cheeks fully exposed to my waiting hands. This would cause them to spin around again, leaving them exposed to Leech. Here is the plan in action.

Of course, eventually, people got wise to our ploy. Luckily, when we figured out people were sneaking around the back to get to the bathrooms, Big Nasty himself went into action. Here he has captured an attempted escapist.

As you can see, it did not go as Cat planned.

What lesson was learned here? NO ONE ESCAPES ASS GRAB ALLEY!

As the night progressed, Captain Leech and I decided that the borders of Ass Grab Alley were open to interpretation. For example, if I can reach behind the bar while still standing in Ass Grab Alley, it counts, much to Misha's chagrin.

Well fuck it. I'm going out there right now, grabbing the chalk and doing this all over again.

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