Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Fun With Birds, 101

I just came across these pictures of our pumpkins from last year. There are few things as fun as getting royally fucked up as possible and carving Jack-o-Lanterns, at least when you live in the boondocks and you suddenly realize you have a shitload of pumpkins and you are sure as hell ain't gonna eat the fucking things.

Of course the best part about of having all these jack-o-lanterns on your kitchen counter is to bring an unsuspecting Elenora Cockatoo into the darkened kitchen and watch him freak the fuck out when he sees them.
Of course, Mara felt obligated to turn the lights on to make him realize they were just harmless pumpkins, lit on fucking fire.

Even with the lights on, he didn't buy it.

Of course, my own personal bodyguard, Milais, was fearless as usual. I've used Photoshop to highlight where he usually resides on my person. He looks harmless enough doesn't he? Ask if he's harmless to the people who have made the unfortunate mistake of getting too close to my person while he his hidden in my shirt along with my Browning 13-shot .380.
He will launch himself at the nearest extremity of any human (or cat or dog) in order to protect my well being. Believe me, there are many people who consider themselves pretty damn tough who live in complete and total fear of this menace of mine.

In the end though, I don't rely on Milais for my own protection. Always remember, faithful readers, if you break into the Crevanator Compound you're much more likely to encounter a sight like the one shown below. As I have written on the walls, "Is there an Afterlife? TRESPASS HERE AND FIND OUT!"


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