Thursday, August 26, 2004

So today I get home from a day of full on brainwashing trying to become part of one of the largest, soulless corporations on EARTH (yes Widowmaker, it's even bigger than your proberbial Megalomart) to find that the mama Doe who has been living in our back 400 for 5 years has spawned AGAIN! I was starting to have my doubts about this year, because normally this slut has already been dragging her latest cretins around my garden for a good month by now. But no, my hopes were dashed. Don't these fucking animals ever hit menopause?!? I mean how many times can they spew out a couple of things?! Anyway, here she is in all her glory, heading right for our pepper and tomato plants. Actually I wasn't worried about that, she learned her lesson about those 4 years ago. It's the corn, Broccoli and Brussel sprouts I'm frettin' over. Oh, and that HUGE plant in the left foreground of the picture? That's OTIS. He's about 20 feet long now. He can't even fit in the picture frame. But that's for another day. Posted by Hello

So yes indeed it is time for the next generation to finally learn where the good eats are at. For christ's fucking sake this is literally the 5th fucking generation this Doe has spewed forth into the world. I think now it's in fact a genetic trait her offspring are not scared of me in the slightest. I actually wouldn't be suprised if these two yungins' have been living within feet of my house while they were too young to go with mama to find food. It's one thing to let a kidnapped bullfrog live in my pool, but this may be just going too far.  Posted by Hello

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

I screwed up. This new photo service is weird. here is the other pic of the toads. Read down to hear the story dammit Posted by Hello

Here's another pic at another angle of the toads.The other pic is of a huge bull frog we nabbed on our way home from the bar about 2 month ago. He's made himself quite a home here. For the longest time, he was camped out in our corn field, which is right next to our kiddie pool. One of those 3 foot deep things, and about 15 feet wide with a filter. In any event, as the summer has progressed we haven't been using the pool and therefore not dumping chemicals in it and the like. Today, I noticed that the bull frog ahs figured out that it is nos safe to go into the water. He's pretty psyched now. If anyone come after him (which I suspect my cats have) he's already figured out to dive in to the bottom. We've decided the pool is his for the rest of the summer. Although this fall I'll bring him out to the fishing hole to make sure he can find a place to hibernate for the winter. That's it for now. Just got too much on my plate. Posted by Hello

FIRST OFF. should be back up tonight. It's still all broken and stuff in terms of pic etc., but it will be fixed soon. Anyway, this past Friday night Mara and I were down at the bar with Captain Leech, Copy Jon, Tattoo Jon, Big Nasty, Little Ann, Big Ann, Scott, and many more. Just as we were leaving, a massive thunderstorm broke. This was a real MidWest type storm. We were excited about this, because since our ride home, for the most part, takes place on deserted farm roads. the toad hunting is pretty damn sweet. We already have plenty of toads protecting our own crops, but since we have so many fucking bugs, you can't have too many toads. This night we got 5 new toads to import onto the compound (I think we've brought in about 20 this year). Here they are shortly before they were released. Oh, BTW the torrential rain makes toads flee from their holes and onto roads, where it's relatively dry. Then we nab 'em. (Actually Mara does, I sit in the car and supervise) Posted by Hello

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

BIG NEWS HERE! Well it sure looked like we were fucked for the Supershow in Austin, TX. Last minute histronics tried to fuck Duke over. However, it was clearly forgotten that I don't take kindly to being fucked over. So when things looked bleak, I took a roll of the proverbial dice, and I didn't get snake eyes my friends. I didn't just get any guitar player to fill in for the biggest show of the year. Oh no, not at all. I got us H. VASCO CONIN of the Savage City Outlaws from Portugal! To quote Kurt Angle "It's DAMN true!" Vasco will be flying in a week before the Supershow to learn the set, and then fly down with us to play in Austin. Look at TEXAS! Posted by Hello

Monday, August 16, 2004

Another masterpiece of vermin destroying my garden. Why I waste my time on music is beyond me. Posted by Hello

This is like artful and shit. Notice how I strategically placed the emtpy Bud can full of butts in the front focus, and had add the asshole Deer who eats my corn in the background. Posted by Hello

Thursday, August 12, 2004

This here is a picture of The Leg Breaker. he was the main reason we went on this fishing trip. Here, he stares disdainfully and berates this Striper too small to keep. Shortly after this pic was taken Leech and I had to jump him from behind to keep him from tearing the poor fish in half with his bare hands.  Posted by Hello

Oh, and Mara caught A crab, not CRABS. Posted by Hello

Well, first off, read the heading at the top of the page under "Duke's Rants of the Week". Please stop e-mailing me. In any event, the other day we went fishing. We'd been looking forward to it for, oh about 2 months. Then it had to be fucking ruined by forces outside our control. But we made the best of it, and I did catch an OK fish.  Posted by Hello

Wednesday, August 04, 2004


Boy it sure has been longer than I thought since I last did an Otis update. For those of you who have been keeping track, you will remember that on July 7th I desribed the transplant procedure. To save you the trouble of scolling down to remind yourself, here are the two pics of Otis from his risky surgery.

Well I am happy to say that since late April Otis has nearly died, been transplanted, and survived tons of general trauma.
But now he looks like this!

Y'all can barely recognize the little bugger! Speaking of little buggers, check out this next photo.

Ayuh, it be the first sign of a pumpkin on old Otis. Let's hope this one survives.
OTIS Archives