Saturday, January 29, 2005

The Torch has been passed

To be honest, I really thought I'd be the champ for many years to come. By this point the belt had been around my waist for so many years that I didn't believe there would be a young stud who could emerge from the proverbial mist to claim my throne.

I should have known better. Even though I lost the title at the old age of 33, I should have realized my day would come. My memories bring me back to the day I won the title back in 1998. Yes, I was a young and foolish champ back when I wrested the title from a worthy and experienced champ in Captain Leech. I thought, despite the respect I had for the man I defeated, that it would never happen to me. I swore I would wear the belt proudly until the day I willingly laid it down and retired from the game. But, alas, it was not meant to be.

So, to paraphrase JFK, let it be heard from this time and place that I, Duke Crevanator am no longer the hottest and sexiest man in the world. I have been defeated, fair and sqaure by Tom Brady, Quarterback of the New England Patriots. Below is the photo of your new champion, mere seconds after learning the news that he is the carrier of the torch.

God bless Mr. Brady, do all of us former champs proud.



Well I was going to be modest and give the new champ his due. However after a big Hulabaloo for all the female readers out there, here is a pic of your former champ. And please, do not fret over this photo. I just had a Philadelphia Eagles fan roaming on the Crevanator Compound. The problem is taken care of. Thank goodness I decided to make a big enoug ice fishing hole in the pond in the back 200 to fit a body though. Ooops. I shouldn't have written that.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Damn! What a couple of days!

OK, so in the last 2 days we've had a major blizzard. On Saturday night we got 2 feet of snow along with 40-65 mph winds. And our TV died too!

Oh, sure, y'all thought that was the worst of it. But you're WRONG! The flaming CUNT who stole the bar I've been drinking at for 15 years from her now ex-husband in a nasty divorce decided to do the UNTHINKABLE last night. Yes, she hired two huge moving trucks and emptied the place in the middle of the night. About 20 of my good friends all lost their jobs, and she didn't have the guts to even tell them. Luckily, everything she did was completely ILLEGAL, and she will be SUED. I am not a believer in that Karma shit, but if things turn out in the way my lawyer friends say they should, then I might be a convert. I mean, we all can find a new place to drink (althought it won't be the same), but it's really harsh to fire everyone with no notice about a week from rent and other bills being due. But in the end she may lose her HOME, her RETIREMENT, EVERYTHING! I', already working my contacts in the local press to write stories about how she fucked everyone over. She won't be able to show her ugly face in the community. Everyone will know her ass the cunt who fucked over numerous lives. Ah yes, revenge is SWEET on people who are too stupid to talk to a lawyer before they commit heinous acts.

In the end though, the PATRIOTS ARE GOING TO THE SUPERBOWL!
PATRIOTS ARE GOING TO THE SUPERBOWL!
PATRIOTS ARE GOING TO THE SUPERBOWL!
More details about other stuff coming soon.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Who is this mysterious person in Vienna, VA?

Over the last 5 days I've had a person using a computer at the US Navy Department of Defense location in Vienna, Virginia visiting the Tunnel Rats site, and this blog.

WHY?!?!

I haven't updated the site in months and now I have someone at the same workstation visiting daily. Of course, they are more than welcome to. I mean unlike England and France this is a FREE country after all. But how much is there to read between the two sites?
Do not fret faithful readers, I am WELL AWARE that I am dashingly handsome, and too cool for school, but unless it's one of those super-hot military girls, this guy is risking violating the Don't ask, Don't tell policy by admiring my sexy pictures all over both sites. I don't want the poor guy kicked out because he can't resist me. However, if it is one of the hot military girls, drop an e-mail baby! I'll teach y'all about how to be the Monica Lewinsky to my Commander-in-Chief.

Oh, I also have realized that the Steelers have not yet forfeited the game vs. the Patriots on Sunday. Poor, silly souls. Oh well, I guess, as usual, they have to learn the HARD way. So be it.

OK, that is all. Dismissed!

Sunday, January 16, 2005

CUT THAT MEAT!! CUT THAT MEAT!!!!!

CUT THAT MEAT!!!! CUT THAT MEAT!!!!!!




To any readers who are Colts and/or Peyton Manning fans...

GO FUCK YOURSELVES
You are pathetic and insignificant human beings and you are a DISGRACE to REAL AMERICANS. You should be deported to Rwanda or some such place where poor, innocent people are forced to live miserable lives. They do not deserve their suffering, but YOU DO! I HOPE YOU DIE!!!!!!!!!!

As an aside, I feel really sorry for Pittsburgh fans. You have NO CHANCE this Sunday. Please forfeit the game now and save yourselves the misery of defeat.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005


To those of you have been wondering why I haven't updated in so long. I've been up in the mountains doing research, on how to have a fucking LIFE! Actually, I've been pretty up to my ass in some serious work-related shit and have been generally miserable and unamusing. I won't bore you with details. However I did actually go up the mountains this past weekend. And no the grimace on my face is not because I've just shit my pants. It;s that I'm so fucking frozen my shit has forzen inside my entrails and is ripping them from the inside out as I pose. Seriously, it was brutal. That is Mount Washington across from me, and the wind is blowing about 60 mph into my face. Posted by Hello


This here is Lucy, the new dog of the Tunnel Rats. A stray brought up from North Carolina by an draft-dodging Swede, her life has obviously been one of turmoil. She fits in perfectly Posted by Hello


This is a pic of the note Dan Vapid left for B-Face after we partied there real late night after a Methadones show in Boston. I was gonna tell the story, but I think the note tells it well enough. Posted by Hello


A reunion show on 11/3/04 with the Groovie Ghoulies! Don't rub your eyes, that was indeed Bernie back on guitar! Thanks to Maddy for the photo! Posted by Hello


This was from our NH show on 11/3. It was truly a reunion show, as we here in this pic we have CPATAIN LEECH, myself and WIMPY all doing the vocals on Fuck that Weak Shit. Thanks to Maddy for the photo! Posted by Hello


This was right after Wimpy had been released from prison and had run the 10 blocks to Emo's in time to sing his songs with us. Wimpy is as punk rock as they have ever come. Posted by Hello


I had to put this picture because it is SOO disturbing. Me and B-Face look like we're badly dressed Axl Rose and Slash cover band members. Doesn't it look like I'm doing that horribly gay Axl Rose dance? Christ! I swear I wasn't! It's jsut that the pic was taken by a European. That's my take, right JT? Posted by Hello


VASCO! Rocking with us on stage in Austin. Photo by crazy Belgian guy named JT Posted by Hello


Mara in Texas, photo courtesy of our crazy friend from Belgium, JT Posted by Hello


You try drinking 18 hours a day in the intense Texas heat for 3 days and see if you look this good. Actually, don't bother, you know you won't come even close Posted by Hello


Here we gots the members of the Tunnel Rats and our friends from Ottowa (prounced "CAN-A-DA) in Austin at the Supershow. We played with them in Montreal this past summer. They've been showing up to Suoershows for years. A good band. They've got a CD out now. Check it out.  Posted by Hello


This pic was taken at the Snake Farm outside of Austin this past Sept. I have no fucking clue what the hell it is. I can attest to the fact that it was not very friendly. At all.  Posted by Hello


I think of myself as a pretty talented individual. However, my greatest god-given talent is getting shitfaced and blabbering into a microphone. In fact, once I start, it's almost impossible to make me stop. Anyone who has seen me perform live is well aware of this. Posted by Hello


This here Pic is from Mara's first Tunnel Rats show, and first time performing live period, in Las Vegas in 2003. Pic is from our buddy JT Posted by Hello