Thursday, September 15, 2005

Goddamn Fisher Cat


I get back to the Crevanator Compound tonight, after my usual post-work trip to the bar in Durham. Everything is peachy. I got to see Copy Jon, Crazy Dave, Jillian, Captain Leech, Katie the bartendress, Book store Heather, Hook and for the first time in two years, the crazy Muslim Ethiopian dude who breaks every tenant of his religion now and then and shows up at the bar and gets incredibly wasted and tries to buy everyone shots. A good time was had by all (especially myself, as I left before crazy Muslim Ethiopian dude started feeling guilty about being drunk and acted, well, even crazier. Trust me, I've seen it. In fact, I can probably pretty much predict what is happening at that bar right at this instant.)

In any event, I finally get home. First things being first, I take out Lucy the dog to pee and, if required, to crap. Suddenly I hear, from no more than 40-50 feet away, the creepiest and perhaps most dangerous howl you can hear if you live up here in New Hampshire. It was a Fisher Cat. Believe me, I know this sound, I've spent a lot of time in the woods. Below is a pic of one these foul beasts.

This pic is of a stuffed Fisher Cat. They are not very conducive to being photographed. You see, they tend to attack anything they see. I have a good friend who was a game warden for the state of the NH and she made the mistake of coming across one during dusk (they are nocturnal)and it immediately attacked her. She had to shoot it.

Here's some info about Fisher Cats:
"The Fisher Cat, is one of New Hampshire's most elusive animals, and a ferocious predator of small game. They are very fast on their feet and can turn on a dime. Few ever get the chance to see a fisher, mainly because they are nocturnal, but can be heard calling in the woodlands during their mating season. They have a chilling scream very much like that of high pitched child."

"They are also famous for their ability to successfully hunt and kill porcupines. One of the very few other animals to prey on porcupines is a close cousin of the fisher, the wolverine. The fishers’ long, wedge-shaped snout is well suited for making vicious attacks to the porcupines face until mortal wounds cause the porcupine to succumb."

In any event, the cry of the Fisher Cat makes the dog freak out in fear, so I haul her ass back inside. Then I realize our two cats are outside. There's no easier meal to a fisher cat than a house cat. So I step on the porch and start calling the cats. Boris (the smart one) has already been hiding under the back porch, and quickly bolts up and inside with his tail as puffy as can be. Bela,(the stupid one) is nowhere to be found. Normally the Fisher only makes it's hideous noise (imagine a human baby being murdered VERY slowly) during mating season. However, I have heard them make the same sounds right after a kill, or when they are pissed off. Since the fucking thing is so close to my house, I am worried about Bela. I go inside, grab my Glock and a Flashlight and head out towards where I last heard the sound. I do this whilst making as much noise as I can. Luckily, Bela runs past me to the porch before I get too far.

All I know is the cats aren't going outside for a couple of days. Normally a Fisher Cat (especially a male like this one was, if he was doing a mating call) won't stick around too long. I dunno. I have a feeling there are going to be some missing cat posters in this general neighborhood soon. We last had a Fisher make itself known around the 600 acres of woods/wetlands behind the Crevanator Compound 2 years ago. A few cats went missing.

I wonder if this is the same one, making the rounds? It very well could be. I feel bad for the Beavers and Otters out in the 2 ponds, they better be careful too.

Oh, as for this Sunday Patriots 35, Panthers 24
You heard it here first